WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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