so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
