Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
operation have a gay friend backfired
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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