Kiss
Puke
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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