people are starting to question the shark bite story
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize