wanna go halves on a baby?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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