if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
