Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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