Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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