Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Also, beer. Big fan.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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