Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
