So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
