I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
