i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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