i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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