So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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