Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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