I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize