I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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