I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
