You really coming over, don't trick.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
