is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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