remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
