Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
