You're my little dorito
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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