Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
