Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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