He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
