I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
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