that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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