i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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