there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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