I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
