I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
