How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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