I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
