i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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