if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
