Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
