dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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