Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
