I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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