making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
