are you still at the devil's house?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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