talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
