Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
