and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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