Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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