Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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