I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
