I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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