there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
