He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
