nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
