tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
