alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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